The sad experience

I will talk about my saddest experience.
Possibly, I may make you unpleasant.
So, I'm sorry if you feel unpleasant.


My father died when I was in a elementaly school.
I was too young then, so I couldn't believe it.
I cried everyday, remembering my father.

My father was always strict and I was often scolded by him.
I disliked him when he was angry,
because his expression and tone were so terrible.
But in fact, I had understood that his scolding was for me
and that he was never angry, but scolded.

So, I thought my father was good father.
But, I thought so only in my mind.
My father died because of acute disease
and no one could predict his dead.
So, he has gone before I told him my feelings.

Two years after he died, my mother passed me a letter.
It is from my father. He had written it bfore he died.

The letter said, ...
『I'm sorry I 'm always angry to you. I'm a bad father...
I decided not to be angry, but I always start to be angry when I notice.』

When I read that letter, I cried bitterly.
My father has gone, thinking he was bad father.
I really regretted it very much.

It is my saddest experience.
Through the experience, I became to tell anyone my real mind.
I think it is very important to tell one's real mind.